Where do you see yourself in ten years?
If you’ve ever been to a job interview, or an annual review, or even to your high school guidance counselor you’ve likely been asked this question, and if you’re anything like me the answer is never as simple and straightforward as the questioner makes it seem. They expect you to give an answer along the lines of “I see myself in a corner office as a high ranking manager of the company” or something like that. They want you to show that you have ambition and drive and are motivated to progress forward in your corporate career, climbing that proverbial ladder one rung at a time. I tend to give a blank stare for a moment while I visualize my future, then try to think fast and give whatever answer I feel this particular boss is searching for to stroke their ego and make them feel good about themselves so they will give me my 3-4% raise for the year.
In reality what I see in my mind is a crisp, clear, almost too vivid image of the future I hope to one day see. I can see in exact detail the house I want to live in, the property, my wife and son playing in the backyard. I can see the archery range along one side of the tree line, and the deck that overlooks the property. I can see the workshop in the side yard complete with kiln, forge, wood shop and electronics in their own corners of the building. I see the recording studio stocked with instruments, the painting room for my wife that takes the place of the corner office complete with 2 walls of glass to provide an ample view of the scenery as inspiration. I see the kitchen we have always talked about, with room for more than one person at a time, something I can’t say for our current kitchen. I picture the library, with 20 foot ceilings and stocked shelves going all the way up. I can even see the leather chairs, with their slightly cracked cushions from wear of a family who spends countless evenings reading together.
I can see all this as clearly as if it were a memory of this morning’s walk around the house, yet this is not the answer the bosses want to hear. Nowhere in my vision is a career. Nowhere is me spending my days working my heart out for them. So I do as we all do when talk to our bosses, I lie. I tell them about the things I want to do for the company, where I want my professional career to be. I put on a good show and inflate that ego to as near its breaking point as I dare.
Truth is this is the vision that has been in my mind for years, and every time a career works its way into my vision it’s only there as an explanation of how I can afford this. Along the years I have had so many ideas of things I could do to make enough money that I would never have to rely on working for someone else again. Ideas like things I could invent and sell or a program or app I could write that would take off and become the next Instagram that I could sell to Facebook for 6 billion dollars. The only thing that has made an appearance over and over again since I was a child is writing.
Every couple of years I think about writing, about turning it into a job, something I love doing that could earn me money. After all, isn’t that the dream, to make a living doing what we love? Writing has so many appealing aspects to me that it’s easy for me to rationalize why I am drawn to it. It can be done in the comfort of my own home, allowing me more time with my family. There is potential for good income in writing, I know I will never be the next Stephen King, or George R.R. Martin, but I like to think that someday I would be able to afford the things I see in my dreams, to be able to afford to tell my wife that she doesn’t need to work anymore. That she doesn’t have to spend another shift being treated in ways that make her feel lower than dirt. To tell her she never needs to spend another holiday season working so many hours that she all but disappears from our lives for months.
I don’t know if my dream will ever be anything more than a dream, but it’s something to hold onto, to hope for. Writing is something I can see myself doing in my future, sitting my leather chair and writing, watching my wife paint, the thought brings a smile to my face even now.
Now if only I could finish a story, any story, and share it with someone to find out if there is even a glimmer of hope that someday people might spend their hard earned money on something that I wrote. By the time I’m more than a few pages into a story I always start tearing myself down and criticize myself to the point that I put the pen and paper away and don’t touch them again for years. It scares me to share my work with anyone, because if I do, and they confirm that my “skill” is really not anything worth mentioning that my dream may slip away from me forever.
I truly hope that my new community here in the blogosphere will keep me writing, keep me improving, keep me going so maybe someday before another 10 years passes I will get to see at least a little bit of my dream.
How about you? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
photo credit: lululemon athletica
This is my first time with the Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge. This week’s topic challenge is Focus. These pictures were taken by me a few years back, before I had my own DSLR and shared one with my wife, a Nikon D40. These pictures were taken at a local cemetery that is one of our favorite photography locations. The first picture focuses on the angel in the foreground, and the second on the angel in the background.
Thanks to geekybooksnob for the morning sigh of sadness. 🙂
The following tweets are real. I’ve removed their identities so that hordes of book lovers won’t unleash hell-fire upon them.
It shows – you forgot the g.
Then he’s like, the best dad ever.
You F#%$$% read it!
Wait, you have to go camping to read?
And about 40 book fairies just died.
Please, don’t ever let this person hold any type of authority in this world.
A book demon! Get the hell out of there!
I think this is hilarious too. I am going to find your address so I can mail you novels as well and be part of the hilarity.
You’re so lucky.
And thought I would throw in one more…..
Respect to you too sister.
I came across this old picture when I was reorganizing the attic to make more room for some of my clutter to be relocated from downstairs. One glance and I was swept right off my feet and back all those years ago. The acrid smell of an old smoky Buick tickles my nose at what used to be my favorite place in the entire world. This was my safe place, where I could go to escape my world and just let the wind flow through my hair as I went round and round.
I think about this time in my life far more frequently than I would like, the pain from those years torments my dreams to this day. I ran the two blocks from my house to get here on this day, ran as fast as my legs could carry me to get away, to escape, to just feel the wind, and block out the world. It didn’t work, I couldn’t block the world out, I couldn’t escape for even a moment today.
My father’s screams still echoed in my ears as I sat, trying to understand why he was so mad lately, trying to figure out what I had done to make him so mad. He wasn’t yelling at me, looking back I don’t think he was even yelling at my mother, he was yelling because he was scared. He was scared and he didn’t know what else to do, so he yelled. Of course this was far beyond the comprehension of my 6 year old mind, to me he was yelling because of something I did.
Admittedly even then the park had lost something for me, some of the joy had been leached out of it since my brother had gotten sick, I miss playing with him, miss him spinning me around and swinging next to me. I didn’t understand the gravity of what was happening to him, I only knew he was sick, and he didn’t get better, even after a day in bed and some of mom’s magical chicken noodle soup that always cured me when I was sick.
I still think about those days, I always seem to find ways to blame myself for what happened, tell myself he got sick, and we lost him because of that day we went out and played in the rain and mud puddles. I tell myself if I would made him eat his broccoli instead of helping him slip it to the dog that maybe he would have been stronger, maybe he could have fought harder.
I know none of that is true, know there is nothing I could have done, nothing anyone could have done, but I still blame myself.
I blame myself for my father falling apart afterwards, for failing to be a good enough daughter, failing to take his place after my brother was gone. I blame myself for his drinking, his depression, the life devouring alcoholism that claimed him only a few years later.
I’ll never understand how my mother kept going, how she put on her best fake smile for me as I got on the school bus each morning, how she went to work, kept us fed and clothed, I’ll never understand where that strength came from. I know she hurt so deeply that words could never reach the places inside where she held her pain, comfort and peace could not make that journey, the walls were too high.
It was several years later before I knew this picture even existed, a neighbor had been out bird watching, and took this picture of me. She gave it to me when I graduated high school, thinking it would remind me of my happy place, and brighten my day. She could have never know how I would break down and crumple to the floor when she handed it to me.
And here I am, crumpled on floor again, tears streaking my face as I remember this place, remember the pain, remember the loss. Faded memories that I somehow keep blowing the dust off of, keep restoring their vivid pain to my heart.
The Hunger Games:
OK, by now every last person in the free world has probably heard of The Hunger Games trilogy of books by Suzanne Collins, either from the books, or more likely the movie, or even the teasers for the second movie that will be showing this winter in theaters around the globe. Like most people who actually enjoy reading, I don’t get nearly enough time to read books, and find myself more often than not seeing the movie before I read the book. This was no exception when it came to The Hunger Games.
Seeing movies in theaters has not been a real option for me since the birth of my son, and I imagine it won’t be for some time to come, so I don’t see many movies prior to their Blu-Ray release. I bought The Hunger Games on Blu-Ray when it came out and it sat unopened on a side table for a few weeks before my wife and I finally found a couple of hours of time when we were both home, both still awake enough to comprehend anything going on around us, and both caught up on our classwork. Neither one of us had ever read the books and we both agreed after watching that it was a good story, and that we would like to read the books some day. That was a nice thought, and it was gone nearly as quickly as it arrived without much thought until a few weeks ago.
Now it has been a very long time since either one of us has actually “read” through an entire book, finding audiobooks to be a much more manageable format for us. I used to work a job that had a 45 minutes drive one-way, and I spent my drives listening to books to help me pass the time. The Harry Potter series of books were the first books we listened to together, or mostly together anyway. We used to take long drives most of our Sunday’s together and just listen to books. If the weather was cooperating we would load up our DSLRs and just drive until we saw something that looked like fun to photograph, and we would jump out take pictures for a while then get back in and drive some more.These trips will always hold a special place with me, as will the experience of sharing these books together.
Last month we had a special trip planned, our first concert, (I know, i know, I’m almost 30, I should have been to tons of concerts by now) Imagine Dragons, who by the way were amazing, but that’s a story for a different day. The concert was a 4 hour drive from our house and that eerie thing that happens so often happened to me again while planning for our trip. I started looking into audiobooks at work one day, thinking it would be a good time to listen to a book together during 8 hours of drive time. When I got home that day the first thing my wife said to me was “We should find a book to listen to on the way down”, happens all the time, still creeps me out a little every time.
Anyway, having both recently seen a trailer for the upcoming Catching Fire movie we decided we wanted to read the book before seeing the movie this time, and of course before we could listen to Catching Fire, we had to listen to The Hunger Games. So I got the book and downloaded it to my iPod, IT guy or not I still rock out with a 2nd gen black 8gb iPod nano, the only Apple product I own I might add. I got the iPod connected to the stereo in the truck, and our journey into Panem began.
Less review, more compare
I’m not going to go into an in depth synopsis of the plot and review of the book here today. For either of those a quick Google search will likely yield you more results than you could read in a lifetime. Instead I am going to talk more about how the book compares to the movie, and yes I know there are probably more posts on this subject than I could even begin to count, but this is my take on it.
Firstly, please remember that I saw the movie first, so as I listened to the book in my mind Jennifer Lawrence was already Katniss in my mind, and most of the scenes from the book already had a previous vision in my mind’s eye. Secondly, I will almost always give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt, knowing full well that if they were to try and fit every detail from a book on the screen the movie would 10 hours long and require odd mental monologues all the time. This benefit of the doubt troubles my wife quite often, particularly when I said that the whole running segment in Harry Potter about freeing the house elves that was a lengthy piece of book that never saw the screen was an obvious thing to cut out seeing that it added very little to the main story line and would take up valuable screen time that could be spent developing a more important part of the story.
That being said, I think the team that took The Hunger Games from book to screen did a fantastic job of getting the core story developed without spending too much time on the little pieces that don’t add much to the story, other than developing a deeper relationship with the characters. There are however several parts that I do feel would have been worth a couple of extra seconds, a few extra frames that could change the way you see a character.
One of these particular moments is during the flashbacks where Katniss remembers Peeta throwing her the bread that saved her from starving. In the book they highlight the fact that Peeta seemed to have gone out of his way, purposely burning the bread and taking a swift strike from his mother for it, to give her that piece of bread. The movie shows it as he just happened to see her as he was throwing out the bread and tossed it her way. While this may not seem that important, I feel that showing that little extra could have really shone Peeta in a different light to the movie viewing audience.
While it is a challenge to reflect the internal dialogue of a character, their memories and thoughts, I feel like the use of the “TV commentator” in the move did a remarkable job, especially in explaining things like the tracker jackers so we weren’t all left wondering why these large bees gave people hallucinations. I did feel like there was a bit of a disconnect on Katniss’s home relationship, with her mother and her sister, and even the other people of District 12. Again this may be something that they felt wasn’t important to the core story, but I think it is a big part of what defines Katniss.
The book gives us a proper explanation of the three finger kiss and salute that the is used by the people of District 12, which is missing from the movie. While the movie shows the salute, and even uses it correctly, in the correct places, without the book’s explanation you are left to assume, or guess at its meaning. I imagine most people were able to guess fairly accurately, but again I didn’t feel the full impact of that simple gesture until I listened to the book.
In the arena I took issue to the way Thresh let Katniss go at the cornucopia. In the movie he seems to inexplicably know what Katniss did for Rue without her telling him. The book makes this nice and clear when Katniss begs for her life and tells the whole story as Thresh waits to crush her skull with a rock.
Also in the arena the dog beasts at the climax of the games didn’t quite hit the mark in the movie. While their appearance and actions may have been impressive, they did not show the fact that the dogs were all of the deceased contestants. This may not add much to the core story line, but it does add a sense of how morally corrupt the government and game makers are. The fact that they would desecrate the fallen competitors by transforming them into mindless killing beasts and send them back out after the survivors adds a level of disgust and hatred that I’m sure will only build in the coming books.
The big miss for me in the movie is the love story between Katniss and Peeta. This story is a cornerstone of the story, both book and movie, yet the movie seems to widely gloss over it. The book gives a much more vivid picture of a boy who is deeply in love from the start and a girl who falls in love with him for real while she pretends to fall in love to put on a good show. This is huge, this love story is what sets up all the following action, how thing play out for the two of them, during and after the arena is so deeply connected to this love story, and the movie feels lacking. Having watched the movie first I must confess that I did not find it lacking when I watched the move, but after listening to the book I feel like the movie failed to deliver the proper impact to this young love.
One last comparison piece here is Peeta’s leg. The movie shows us that the magical serum from the capital healed it perfectly and he walked home without a scratch on it, while the books shows him losing his leg completely after it takes another attack and a tourniquet. This may not be a major detail if the story were to end here, but it doesn’t, there are two more volumes in this saga, and the previews for Catching Fire tell me that leg may be an important part of the coming story.
Hungry for more
Bottom line, book was fantastic, move was great, and very well adapted. I liked the book so much that with hours of finishing listening to it I had already began listening to Catching Fire. In fact I am already looking forward to mowing the lawn today and popping in some headphone to listen while I mow.
I hope I kept at least a few of you with me as I attempted my first “review” of sorts. Let me know if you liked, or didn’t like this so I can know if I want to do more reviews of this style in the future. I may do some more traditional synopsis and breakdown style reviews as well. Thank you all for reading and joining me as I start this blogging journey.
Photo credit: Jitze Couperus
As I start my journey into the world of blogging I found myself asking what and who I want to share with the outside world. This is a much tougher subject for me than it really should be because sharing myself with the outside world is not something I normally do. I have decided that for the time being I am going to stick to what makes me remotely comfortable, and hide my name behind a screen name. This may not be the best approach, as I know from being a long time blog reader that it is nice to connect the articles with a face, and a name, and perhaps some time down the road I will reveal mine as well. Until that date you can call me Lynx. This is a name I chose not only because I find the lynx to be an amazing animal, but it also connects closely to my geek side in its similarity to the name Link, that and I just love the word, i mean it has a y and an x in it!
While I am keeping my name and face shrouded I can share with you a little about who I am. I am approaching 30 at a much quicker rate than I am completely comfortable with. I have been married for nearly ten years now to my high school sweet heart who I spent 4 years with before we were married. We have an amazing 2 year old son who makes my hair grayer by the day. We have a small dog, and live in a small house, on a small piece of land in the city limits of a Southern Michigan city.
I work as an IT administrator (and sole member of the IT staff) for a machine shop that is still classified as a small business, although just barely. I have always enjoyed writing, and have looked for ways to share my writing with other people before, but never really found a good outlet. I am currently in my “senior” year at a University after deciding last year to go back and get my Bachelor’s degree. I already have an Associate’s (actually 2, but that’s a story for another day) but thought the Bachelor’s would be a nice addition.
I’m sure if you’ve stuck it out with me this far you’re starting to wonder what I might be planning to write about in this blog, well here it is. I want to share my experiences, thoughts, ideas, and projects with you. I want to share stories from my personal life with my wife and son, as well as my IT experiences, and my many side projects and hobbies. For my first few posts I have already been working on gathering pictures and details for a few projects I have been done recently. Last week I finished up my first glass replacement on an iPad, and although there are a million resources for that already I plan on sharing my experience with you. I am in the middle of a night light build project for my son that I would love to share as it progresses. I may do a product review here and there, or game, movie, book, or TV show. Basically I would like to share my thoughts, ideas, and experiences from my life with you.
If you’re still with me I thank you deeply for taking the time, and I hope I don’t disappoint as time goes on. Look for my next post very soon! And I am just learning how to properly blog, and getting familiar with all the tools in wordpress, so please bear with me.
Hi, my name is Lynx. I’m a geek, with a wife and son. This blog is for me to share my life with you. Please subscribe 🙂
Side note on comments:
I like comments, I want comments, please share your thoughts with me. That being said, etiquette is also important. Comments that are mean or rude simply for the sake of being mean and rude will be removed. Please be civil, and if you have a different opinion than myself or anyone else who comments here, please share it, but do so in a civilized manned. Thank you.